Ep. 37 Connection Series: Courageous Conversations and the Art of Networking Solo

In this empowering episode, I delve deep into my personal narrative, taking you on a journey from the comforts of home to the invigorating challenges of the professional world. Embarking on solo travel, I navigate the complexities of motherhood, business ambitions, and self-growth, transforming my anxiety and trepidation into pillars of success.

Key Takeaways:

1. Overcoming Anxiety Through Solo Travel: I share my initial struggles with anxiety, revealing how I turned my fears into stepping stones for personal and professional success.

2. Resilience and Growth at Industry Conferences: Hear how my attendance at the Engage Summit Boca Raton and similar events provided me with unparalleled growth opportunities, enabling me to forge valuable connections and embrace new perspectives.

3. The Power of Saying "Yes": Discover how my simple willingness to engage and say "yes" redefined my approach to networking, turning it into a journey of collective triumph and authentic encounters.

Join me as I inspire you to lean into discomfort, seek authenticity, and embrace the continuous journey of courage and connection.

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Chapters

• 0:20 Solo Travel and Personal Growth
• 10:09 Connecting and Growing Through Uncomfortable Experiences

Transcript

Nikisha: 0:20

Welcome to Nikisha King Podcast, leading her way, where we see the human, evolving and resilient spirit in you. I'm your host, Nikisha, and on today's episode we are talking about ways that I connect and the intention that I connect with. So last year I had done something different, with intentionality. It was the year for me to transition from being a mom only to being a business person who built, or who is building, a six not even six, seven, eight figure company. And in doing that, there was a moment where I had to transition into the mom who only goes on family vacations because she's scared to travel by herself, to traveling by myself and being comfortable. And in order to do that, I had to put myself out there. And when I put myself out there, I had to be open to connecting and not seeing everyone as a threat to my life, and that's the only reason I'm fearful of traveling.

Nikisha: 1:22

Let me be honest and open with you. When I think of traveling alone, I'm scared of the possibility of being kidnapped or taken, and when I put this out there, it's not to scare you but is to see you and connect with you, because some women have that fear. So in the year of 2023, I decided to do something different. But I didn't plan it the way it happened. I just wanted to travel. So I did book two trips to national because I'm from the US, so national locations and these two trips that I booked were by myself, so my family didn't come, although I tried to plan one with my family to come, but it didn't work out. So I had a trip to Miami that was no. I had a trip to New Orleans that was one. And I had a trip to Florida. That was the other one. But somehow, in 2023, I thought I was only doing two trips, but I ended up doing, I believe, five. So I did Miami, florida, I did New Orleans, I did again Florida, but I went. I forgot what area was. Las Vegas was a new one. I did, and then I did another one in Florida. So I had three Florida trips, and one in Las Vegas and one in New Orleans and it was my first time in Las Vegas and New Orleans, which was really good.

Nikisha: 2:39

And in doing these trips remember my first intention was just transitioning to be able to go on trips on my own, but making decisions to go on all five of these trips, these work conferences, something happened where my connection ability shined. Every trip I went on, it got better and better and I was able to connect immensely with beautiful human beings. And in connecting there's a gift that I cannot explain and I do tell people this. But there's a gift I receive from everyone I meet and the gift I receive is the love that I put out, is the energy, the love that I get back. And when I say that it's energy, if I show up positive, uplifting and I give that, I receive that. But, however, if I show up feeling like I'm tired, I receive that. So I believe there's a trade and the trade is always equal. There's always equal energy exchanged. It's part of the physics law of every action has a reaction. What you give is what you receive. It's a very I don't know how to explain it. Well, I know how to explain it to you, but that's what it is and if you're interested we can have a more of a deeper conversation about this, but, in regards to me, doing these, five national trips started out the first one being the Miami one and I'm in three industries, just to be clear, because they are all different conferences for different industries. I'm in the coaching industry, so I am a certified coach and I work with coaches and we have conferences to become better for our clients. I am in the wedding and event industry, which I call hospitality, where I provide a service for people when it comes to stationary, graphic design, branding, and I'm in the executive industry. These are people who are CEOs of their business, vice presidents of brands and businesses, so I'm in that industry where we go to conferences to be transformed into leaders. And being in these three that's why I had the five conferences.

Nikisha: 4:34

So the first conference of 2023 was my coaching conference in Miami. It was called WorkCard. Thank you, play hard how amazing is that? By Brooke Costillo, and what we did was we work it in morning, 9 to 12, there was our keynote speaking and then we partied hard partied on a beach, partied on a yacht. So it was great.

Nikisha: 4:53

And when I went there, I went by myself, so I had no friends to hang out with no one. But I had to make friends and I remember making a good friend, kelly, and we connected to the point where we were comfortable sharing our past stories and who we are and what we do, and she's a phenomenal human being and in this time we were able to have dinner. There were even moments where I was digging too deep, if you remember my past episode. There's points where I dig deep and I don't dig on purpose, it's just by asking questions. And when I ask questions in a coaching environment, they all think I'm coaching them and I go I don't coach you. Coaching you's not asking you questions, it's trying to understand you. So when I ask questions, they thought it was coaching. So there's a defense that goes up because they thinking I'm trying to get in a vulnerable state. But it wasn't my intention, I was literally asking questions. However, when I see someone get defensive, I still ask questions rather than pulling back, and that was my error and that's what I did. But with Kelly it happened.

Nikisha: 5:52

But the one thing I enjoyed was after that moment we had reservations for dinner and we were able to put that to the side and have dinner and converse, and that was key and important. When I went there, I was able to connect with other individuals as well. We would have coffee we would like I don't drink coffee, so I would have tea but we would actually be chatting and speaking. And when you speak to these beautiful humans as Coaches, we are very vulnerable because we're deep. We know we kind of dig for our own stuff, because we are responsible for our stuff. Sometimes we don't see it all, because we also need coaching, but we have a better way of seeing it a little bit clearer than if we are not a coach. And being in a room with people who are just Radiating positive energy was amazing. So that was that trip. And, mind you, when I was on that trip, we were at the fountain blue in Miami, which is one of the known hotels, and it's a large hotel, so there were more.

Nikisha: 6:47

There was a moment that I did get not overwhelmed, but anxiety kicked in, and it was because I didn't know where I was, I didn't know my surroundings, I didn't know where I can go and things. And when I don't know that information, anxiety sprouts up for me because it's some form of a fear of not knowing. So what I usually would have to do is tour my venue, walk the venue, see the venue, know where everything is, because if I need an out, I know how to get out. And I didn't know that and that's why my anxiety came up. I also kind of missed my family a bit, but I call them. But it was easier to unpack without having three other people to unpack for. So they were both good and they were both Not so good moments.

Nikisha: 7:27

But it was my first trip and the connection was amazing and I put myself in this position. This is what I want to tell you. I chose to do these events alone so I can do something Different to connect. My second trip was New Orleans. That was an event for the wedding or hospitality industry. I call event wedding hospitality. It's not known, but it is. That's exactly what we do and that was that type of event and I knew some people.

Nikisha: 7:55

I knew Samantha, really, who was giving the event, but other people I didn't know well. So I was going to meet new people and create connections. So I went there, I connected, I met some amazing people and I partied with them and had a good dinner with them. So that experience allowed us to sit and have one-on-one or moments together where we were just enjoying our time, and that was an amazing experience to have. Then I think after that, I did Las Vegas. Yes, las Vegas was where I did wedding MBA. Another wedding event industry hospitality event. That was different. That was me going with a friend, sarah. I met at a summit I did in 2023 via Zoom.

Nikisha: 8:35

We didn't meet in person.

Nikisha: 8:36

So we met the first time in Las Vegas and meeting a lot of other people. I met on Zoom in person, so that was tremendous for me because I got to hug them and connect with them in person and that was so good.

Nikisha: 8:49

And in that moment I got to meet new people. I met Chiffon, I met, I believe, sarah, another Sarah that I met. And when I meet these beautiful humans, oh, julie. Julie Novak is the co-founder of Party Slate, which is an event industry. I don't want to call it a thing because it's not a thing, but it's an online networking where we get to market ourselves to other people and companies. So Julie is a co-founder. I got to meet Julie, I got to tell her she's my mentor and I get to speak to her quarterly. I don't believe my mentors are not people who need to hold my hand. They're just people who I come check in and then they guide me and then I go out and do the work. So I kind of made her my mentor because she had a great presentation at wedding, mba, and I got to meet so many good people that I've spoken to but didn't meet in person, and that was different.

Nikisha: 9:34

I live in Las Vegas, so we got to hang out. But it was different because it was completely a new territory to me and, yes, anxiety did come up a little bit there. New Orleans, it didn't, because it was a small hotel. I was with my people a lot Las Vegas it did, because I was on a property and I needed out. But my brother introduced me to a restaurant and that was my out. So I went to the restaurant because it was my no, I knew what that was, and then I was comfortable again but that was because I don't work when I travel. I'm sorry, when I travel I don't work. So I tell everybody I'm gone and I'm present. I love being present. Remember, being present is how you connect.

Nikisha: 10:09

And then, after Las Vegas, I did my woman in leadership conference which was in Florida. That was over 2000 members and that was big and I went by myself and I was invited to that one and I got to connect like there was no other. But I think the three events I did prior got me skilled to be able to go into a room not knowing anyone no, I didn't know anyone, I was zoomed, nothing and coming out with 20 people I got to meet and connect with deeply who was able to see the gift that I have and that was a powerful one, because that one I was also. My being was disruptive because there was just this situation where I was high energy and someone was low and when I usually meet in that situation. That person can have a thought about me, or I can have many thoughts. That creates me to feel like I'm not a great human at times and I had to do some deep work in that transition. It was a transition, but it was uncomfortable because it was completely new to me. I want you to understand my stories, because there's a lot of things that happen to me. When they do happen, when I get into an uncomfortable state, it's because I'm doing something different and then I get to grow in that uncomfortable state. I get to feel that uncomfortable. So all of these four conferences I just told you about got me prepared for my final one.

Nikisha: 11:23

And in 2023, I closed out with a big bang at a conference for the event industry Quill Engage Summit and this was my first time going. It was a bigger investment and I've never done it, but I always wanted to and it was one of the most amazing moments and I'm going to share that story with you now because I want you to be able to take away a couple of things. One, being uncomfortable is okay. Two, transitioning or doing something new is definitely okay and possible. And three, when you do uncomfortable work and you become present, there is something that's very much waiting for you, a gift at the end, and it's a big gift, and that's what Engage Summit was. For me, this was a three day conference, but I was there for four days in Florida and, being in that location, I was able to meet people that I knew. I was able to meet people that I knew and I was able to connect with people I didn't know. And this conference allowed it's Quill Engage because we're engaging in networking and, out of that industry, we're engaging with people who are pretty much doing big things in their world. And it's an hour world, I should say, and it's a great place to be.

Nikisha: 12:35

And I recall going there, or the week prior to going there, that I mentally prepared myself for this experience. I would wake up in the morning and do my visualizations and I would see me walking into the room and just having energy and being positive, being present, being open, and I would see me smiling and having great conversations and I would see me speaking to all these humans and being so engaged with them. And when I did that visualization work, it was so important because there are people who've gone to Engage and their experience has not been connection but more analyzing, more thinking about all the things that people are doing and how they're acting. And if you go in with that space, then you come out with that. People analyze you, people are standoffish and I didn't want that, I didn't desire that. But what I truly desired was walking into that space and connecting deeply and being present and having an amazing time with humans who plan events for others. Where this is, people are planning events for us to take part. So having the visualization work and going.

Nikisha: 13:40

I remember Sunday when I got there, I got unpacked, went to have lunch by myself and guess who I see, amazing Caitlin from Fulton Events, who saw me and was like, hey, Nikisha, do you wanna join us? And I was like, of course, because I'm here to connect. So I'm in a yes moment, my yes moment, me, and I don't say no, I go yes and yes. I didn't know that then, but now I know it hindsight, so I said yes to her and when I went with her I got to meet Kelly, her colleague. I got to meet Maggie, who is a lawyer, who worked for wrote it, who write contracts for our brand, and it was so good to see these people in person and commune with them and have lunch with them and talk with them.

Nikisha: 14:18

Then that evening I went to another event that was not an engaged event but Emergence Community and a part of that I just joined, which is a great one, and in that community there were people who were a part of it that I have never met before on Zoom for like two, three years, where I've seen my friend Shana go from not being a mom to having two sons and I got to hug her in person and hang out with her and Kat, my beautiful friends, who was a surprise gift. We didn't know we were gonna be there together and it was such a good one and I remember her sharing some news with me and me seeing how much she was just glowing and being like wow, how amazing is this? Connecting for me is that celebrating the people I truly appreciate. That's what connection is. That is why I do it. I get to celebrate you and so many other people and in that connection, that night it was the beginning of an amazing night and I partied hard and I had three more days to party. It was hilarious and, knowing that, I enjoyed it the first day of Engage I got to meet so many more people. And the first day was an interesting day because I had to say yes to another opportunity that I said no to at first. This is part of connecting.

Nikisha: 15:27

There was a moment I went for a walk and I was wearing my leggings. My workout gear went for my walk came back, I saw a person. I met Andrew on Sunday night and he's an event meteorologist. Can you believe I was so amazed that we had a meteorologist in our event industry. How amazing is that? And in meeting Andrew, we were just chatting and he was waiting for a group of people to join him and in him waiting, I was chatting with him, a group came and meeting him. I was able to see the group that he was waiting for breakfast. Sarah Beth invited me to hang out with them and they were all dressed for the day because we have themes like clothing. So everyone had their pinks on, but I didn't. I had my workout gear.

Nikisha: 16:09

So at first I said no and I said it's okay, I have to go get dressed anyway. That was my excuse. When I give excuses, I'm very aware of them. So as I walked away, a voice came to me, or my inner voice the thing that I've done, the visualization and it said Nakesh, you're here to connect, so why are you not connecting? And I said you're right. And I stopped, made a U-turn and I went back to the restaurant. I said would you guys still have me if I wanted to join you? And with open arms they said yes, now let me share this with you when you want to connect, everyone you want to connect with will have open arms, although you think they won't, and it's how you connect with them. Don't come asking for something, but come willing to share something, come willing to be open to that connection.

Nikisha: 16:54

So I went and I sat down and it was one of the best choices I made and that my friend Eddie, who's also known as Yirvan, love that name, by the way, eddie, and Eddie is my sole brother as of today. We met on Monday, december 11th for the first time. We connected on a different level and after that I promised you, if you asked anyone at Engage, when they saw Eddie and I, they thought Eddie and I knew each other for years, but we have just spiritually, not physically, not as humans. We connected human-wise December 11th, but we've been on so many soul experiences throughout, maybe centuries. Eddie and I connected in a way that allowed us to be who we are genuinely and enjoy our time together.

Nikisha: 17:40

Whereas I met Sarah Beth, who we got to connect with and learn things about each other and how beautiful and amazing she is, I got to connect with those two individuals and Andrew was with us. And Andrew gave me a big gift. He was very shocked that I came back. But he was shocked because when we do Engage Summit, it's such a physical, visual thing when I say that, it's always about your appearance, so the fact that I came back in my workout gear. He was shocked that I made that choice, because normally people do walk away in their gear, workout gear. They don't want to be seen outside of there. They don't want to be seen like a normal human. They want to be seen as that high-end, fashion, creative and I can be wrong on that word, but please know they just don't want to be seen in their normal state If that's, I don't know what to express it as but him seeing me in my workout, my normal state. He was shocked. I came back and it blew his mind and I thank you for that gift, andrew, but that was just Monday and I got to connect with so many other people. I got to share my story with Amanda from Gobella events and we were doing an Engage Foundation where we went to the Boys and Girls Club and I got to connect with even the staff there.

Nikisha: 18:48

You don't understand when I connect, there is an energy in me because I'm just so curious and I'm so grateful. I got to meet people that I would have never met somewhere else or I would have, but not interact the way I did. I had engaged. I was able to meet with Will Kodara, who is the author of Unreasonable Hospitality, and that was a gift in itself because everything he was speaking was the language I am, the language I speak and the love that I give.

Nikisha: 19:13

When you have a love for humans, the connection is easy for me and I say that because it's not easy for everyone. But the reason it's easy for me is because it's my purpose, it's my calling. This is a skill I require to be the transformative speaker I am. So the gift of connecting is important and it's something I have and I cherish it and I love it and I appreciate it. And being at Engage it was the conference on the end of my tour of transitioning into traveling alone. That ignited a fire in me and allowed me to be in my purpose 100% rather than 90%. It gave me a gift of understanding that I can connect, I can speak words and I can create tears. Because my words have such power and love in them, I'm able to see people and truly fall in love with who they are and all of their complexity.

Nikisha: 20:06

And there's no judgment because there's no reason to judge, but there's always an appreciation because they're willing to open up to me. I had people share some deep thoughts and stories and those people will always have a place in my heart, not because of their story, but because they saw me and they chose me and they chose to open up to me. They can open up to many other people, but the questions I ask might have given them a little bit more leeway, if that makes sense. I truly know that every decision I make with intention allows me to connect and be an amazing human with nothing but complexity. The humans I meet are beautiful, kind, complex, compassionate, evolving and resilient, and I truly want you guys to know. I appreciate you all.

Nikisha: 20:51

You constantly give me gifts and contribute to my growth and this episode is dedicated to you guys. Some of you I've named, some of you I haven't named, but every time you take a moment out of your time to spend with me, you are gifting me. I can't express it love on a big level. And to you you may not see that. To you, you think it's just a conversation. To you, you think you're getting the gift, and you do because it's a win situation. But I want you to know that I am getting a gift from you as well, and on my journey of speaking because that's who I am and that's what I'm here to do on my journey of speaking and transforming lives and contributing to the lives of millions of people, I want you guys to know that I am getting a gift from you. The energy you give, I am receiving and I can only give it back. I give it back to you or I give it back to many other millions.

Nikisha: 21:45

This journey is not a light one. There is no journey that is ever light, but when you do something different and uncomfortable, even when anxiety shows up, you still do it. There is always a gift and I can promise you that. So, in your connection journey, do something different, show up differently, because when you do make a different choice, you will get a different result. That's it for today on Leading Her Way Podcast. Thank you for always being here, thank you for sharing this podcast with your family and friends and thank you for giving us a five star rating. Have a great one and see you next Tuesday.

Nikisha: 22:27

Thanks for spending time with me today and if you received an aha moment in today's episode, hit the follow button and share a review. But more importantly, if you have a friend who will truly benefit from today's episode, click the three dots and share this link via text. You never know how this small action can help someone tremendously. See you next Tuesday and have an amazing day.