Ep 40: Connection Series - Staying Charged in a World of Extroverts: Tips for Introverted Business Owners

Have you ever walked into a networking event, your mind buzzing with potential and opportunities, only to find your energy levels plummeting as the hours tick by? You're not alone. For introverted business owners, entrepreneurs, and professionals, these gatherings can often feel like a marathon with no finish line in sight. So, how do you navigate these essential yet exhausting events without feeling like you're running on empty? 

In today's insightful episode, Nikisha dives into the world of introverted business owners facing the challenge of networking events and exploring how to make authentic connections without draining your energy reserves. 

Here are some practical strategies shared in this episode: 

• Curiosity as a Networking Tool: Learn how wielding curiosity can transform networking experiences, making them more engaging and less draining.
• The Power of Intention Setting: Understand the importance of setting intentions before social events to conserve energy and make meaningful connections.
• Tackling Networking Dread: Gain insights into how to overcome the fear and fatigue associated with networking, finding vitality in various social settings, including virtual platforms like Zoom.

Tune in to this episode for a refreshing take on networking for introverted business owners. Recharge your social batteries and find joy in making connections without the burnout.

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Chapters

• 0:21 Managing Energy as an Introvert Tips
• 11:46 Managing Energy and Avoiding Burnout

Transcript

Nikisha: 0:21

Welcome to the Nikisha King podcast leading her way, where we see the human, evolving and resilient spirit in you. I am so happy to be here, guys. Thank you for coming back and enjoying all of the good stuff that I share. I am speaking on a topic today that I believe I'm not the pro in, but I know that I can provide you some type of tips in action. What happen if you are the introvert? What happens if energy is taken away from you when you are speaking, engaging, connecting, transforming lives? What are some of the tips you can do to help you conserve your energy, to help you feel like you are not giving too much, to help you on your journey as an amazing business owner. That's what we are speaking about today. So, first and foremost, let me explain to you.

Nikisha: 1:15

I don't consider myself an extrovert. Someone can look at me, put that label on me, but I don't use the label, so I am just a human being who enjoys the other like other human beings. So when I see someone, I am curious, I'm intrigued. When I look at it that way, that's what makes me stand out. That's why I like speaking that people are very complex, but they're beautiful and their complexity is what I'm curious about, because I want to know their story. I'm really curious about who they are. That's what makes me a connector. That's why I like going out. I could be in a room of 500 people and get energy from them, because I'm curious about all of them. So from that angle, I don't consider myself an extrovert introvert, whatever the case may be. But I understand some people who are in a room with 500 people will feel like their soul is being drained, and that's totally fine. Like I get it, my husband is one of those individuals who can do a little bit of socializing, but then he needs to be in a room where he can replenish or just sit down and enjoy some quiet time. Now again, remember, in my previous episode I told you about him. He wasn't curious. His lack of curiosity before made him really not interested. So let's see how he does now in a room of 500. I'll let you guys know.

Nikisha: 2:35

But anyway, being a person who feels like they're losing energy or being a person who loses energy in that environment, here's the thing. If you feel like being in a room of 500 is depleting and you want to minimize that, you may go to a conference, but instead of going to five, you may just go to one conference you may. Webinars are easy, because then you could just take your camera off. Now, when you go to that conference with 500 people, have an intention set. You don't need to speak to all those people. You don't need to engage, but you don't also need to be negative, or you don't need to have that beautiful face that looks like don't talk to me, I'm not speaking to anyone, mode. You know what I mean. You don't need to have that energy where you're not speaking to anyone or you don't want to be bothered. You don't require that in order for you to show up. All you need to do in those moment in time is just listen, just be the person who's standing in with individuals, and you're just listening and taking the information in.

Nikisha: 3:35

Now a topic comes up that you know you can provide solutions and value that your moment is shared. There's also a thing where you can go in intentionally, knowing you may just want to connect with one person. When I go to this conference of 500 people, I just want to be able to take the information of one person that I truly enjoyed and in order to know that. That's where your listening skills is that's what maybe an introvert does really well listen. Well, you just gather information differently because I believe all of us have our special skills.

Nikisha: 4:06

I have friends who are very much introverts and they love being alone. But there is a price to pay for that. There's a price where they are no longer present. They're either living in the past and have some form of depression, or they're living in the future where they have some form of anxiety, and in that world they struggle. And when they struggle they can't really be the best business owner that they can be. I've seen it, and when I see it, I just only wish they can just remove that label for one second and show up with curiosity and see if that does something different for them.

Nikisha: 4:41

But when you're in a place that you don't choose to be or you don't want to really be, find ways and ways are just listening because people want to be heard. So that's amazing if you're not a person who likes to speak a lot. But then again, when you listen, I know that's the other side of you that feels like you get tired and yawning and depleted. So what you can maybe do is listen for a bit, say a couple things and go. You know what. It was a pleasure speaking to you. I hope we can stay connected and exit.

Nikisha: 5:10

Sometimes for introverts, it's just having the way of learning how to exit a conversation right, because you still have to protect yourself Exiting a conversation. What's the best way to exit without feeling like you're doing it abruptly or in a way that the other person takes it offensively. Sometimes it's being able to reiterate what they said. What you said was so good. I truly appreciate the X, y and Z you shared with me. Thanks so much for your time. It was a pleasure speaking with you. Do you have a card or something I could stay in touch with and that kind of closes out the meeting? You know what I mean. And then you exit.

Nikisha: 5:48

Now here's the thing when I'm on IG, a lot of people talk about protecting their energy, this, that don't want to do meetings, and that works for them and I'm happy that works for them. But here's the thing I don't have that energy, so I usually don't listen to that, because I love my Zoom calls, I love spending time with people, I love listening to people. So when people share that and they're like you should protect this, I'm always like why do you feel like you need to put it on someone else? If anything, tell them ways that helps them be better in protecting their energy. Help them, like, replenish when they're in a place that's taking energy from them. Help them with tips rather than telling them they shouldn't be doing something. We're not here to control people. We're not here to tell you what you shouldn't do, but we're here to give aha moments or another perspective, and then someone has the ability to adapt that, or to take it or not take it. Everyone is different in how they show up. You're different in how you show up. The energy you give when you're speaking is more energy than I give. I get energy. I don't give it when I'm in a state of conversing and connecting, but if you do, I would say one of the tips is find a way to conclude the conversation by just repeating what the person said and going. I hope we can stay in touch. Thank you so much for your time. It was so good speaking to you and then leaving.

Nikisha: 7:14

If you are a person who enjoys, like connecting with your colleagues or people who can be of an asset to your business and you do it through a Zoom call, schedule a day or schedule. Put a schedule in place. What that will look like for you is going Mondays I have two calls max via Zoom. Tuesday Wednesday I have no calls. Thursday I have two calls max via Zoom. So Monday and Thursdays are days to do Zoom. There is two calls max that I'm doing. Four calls a week I can do.

Nikisha: 7:45

When I do a call, I might do one in the morning, at 11am, and I might do another one at 4pm. This gives me the time I need to find my center, to find the energy by doing what I love, because that's how you get your energy, and then at 4pm I'm replenished again to give an hour or 45 minutes of my time. If we actually have a plan to learn how to connect the way that feeds us, then we'll be more successful in our business, in showing up, being authentic. That's how I see it as a person who has an introvert label or feelings, because when you actually create a plan to manage your time and energy you give, you will be successful at doing it, respecting the person you're speaking to and, at the same time, connecting and building trust to sell your value to sell your business services.

Nikisha: 8:39

When we find ways to manage our labels, we're more successful than when we put labels on us and then, complain about the labels.

Nikisha: 8:48

I'm an introvert. Oh my god. All the energy to speak. Oh my god. I have to protect my energy. That is like more complaining than putting action in place. So my question to you is how can you do actionable steps that protect your energy without you putting that negative complaint into the world? Right? Create a schedule for your work, for your meeting times, connecting times. If you're a room of 500 or more people, or 200 people or 100 people, like whoever, whatever the number is, have an exit statement, but have an exit statement acknowledging that human being, telling them thank you and then exiting. Sometimes you're just going to be there to listen. Sometimes you can actually sit down and just eat whatever you want to eat, like when you're at a conference. Drink your coffee, drink your tea. Someone will come up to you that extrovert, that person who always want to connect, and when they do, you're welcome to give them 5 or 10 minutes. But use that language. It was such a pleasure getting to know you. Thank you for visiting me. I so appreciate you. I look forward to spending and learning as much as you're learning here and I hope we can stay connected. If you have a card or something, I'll be happy to take it and that person will go. You know what? Thank you for listening. Here's my card, and it was a pleasure speaking with you. That is it. Now you have your time back.

Nikisha: 10:09

Subtle ways are available to anyone. If you are a person who uses introvert, you have so many opportunities. There's so many people who are like you and there's so many people who are sharing ways to they call it protect your energy and space, and that's what you can do. And I know, as me, who love connecting and who love being curious. Right, I'm the opposite of you, but guess what? That's okay. You and I are still human. You and I still have a purpose here. You are as important as anyone else and, as me, we're on the same plane field. We just do things differently. That's okay. You are you because you have something to give the way you give it. I am me because I have something to give the way I give it, and that is just what it is.

Nikisha: 10:57

But I wanted to make sure, when I'm closing out this connection series, that I considered you the person who feels like their energy is being taken away when they're connecting. I wanted to see you, I wanted to respect you. I wanted to be able to give you tips and I didn't want to make you think that you had to become me or any other person out there who's just always in someone's business. I wanted you to feel like I see you and understand you and respect you, because you are valuable as much as any human being here. So I hope me sharing a little bit of what I think, because I don't know, I don't know how to, or I have never experienced. Well, that's a lie. Let's rewind. I can't make the sound effects, but let's go back a bit. I'm lying.

Nikisha: 11:46

There are moments I go to events that there's a thought I'm thinking that that makes me feel like my energy is being sucked. And when I feel like I can't connect to someone in the room Because I feel like the people here are very closed off and they're not honest, I feel like my energy is being drained. And when I'm thinking that and I feel like my energy is being drained, I don't show up as me. You don't see me speaking a lot. You see me very quiet to myself. So if I'm in a room with a lot of people and you listen to this podcast and you understand that Nikisha is not her normal self, who's outgoing and smiling and laughing.

Nikisha: 12:23

Know that I'm having thoughts about the people in Room. Know that I believe that I don't feel like I can connect with them. If I think that I can't connect with them, I usually feel like they're sucking my energy. That's how I feel. I don't know how anyone else feels, but that's when I go into a quiet mode, because I don't feel like I can connect or this is not my space. So I usually just go Quiet. So if you see that action for me, know that that's what's happening. And when people walk up to me, they're opening up to being engaging, they're opening up to saying I'm volunteering to be me that I love. But if I feel like people are not opening up to me and I'm thinking that that's when I get into my I don't give any energy because they're gonna drain my energy kind of mode. So there are moments I might have that label on me. There are moments when I feel like this is not my room, therefore I just don't want to talk to anyone, and in those times I become a label. Someone can see me as an introvert, but if someone does walk up to me, I'm gonna engage. Right, I'm gonna open up because they they volunteer to be here with me. So I'm gonna get curious. It shifts for me. So I've actually did experience those moments where I'm in a room of a hundred, two hundred people and I'm just like Not giving any energy today. And when I do, that is because I'm thinking they don't see me, they don't understand me, so they're not gonna be themselves.

Nikisha: 13:42

I create stories that are not true because I'm actually not engaging. So I create stories sometimes, but I just want to share that. That's why I rewind a bit. I was like no, that's a lie. There are moments I go inward and I'm not extra or outgoing. So I wanted to share that with you. Just in case you have those moments, you can understand that I got you on that, that level. But I wanted to make sure I gave you some tips. When you feel like your energy is being taken in a conversation, you have to create an exit Verbiage and use it, and it doesn't have to be rude and it could be in the best light that you can present it. And if you want to have zoom calls, but not so many, schedule them. And the reason I want to share these tips is because there are people in the world right now who are feeling burned out and we are going into our burnout series and I have some beautiful guests who share their experiences with you and Burning out is those moments where you feel like you're just doing too much.

Nikisha: 14:42

So there are moments where people feel like they're connecting too much or they're doing extra work and sometimes that leads to overdoing. And In burning out we need better care and solutions and tips and tricks to help us Not get to that place where we find ourselves in a hospital. We find ourselves isolated and alone. So I piggyback off of introvert language because there are people who sometimes feel like the world sucks their energy and they just don't have that energy to give anymore and they kind of go into a place of isolation. But that isolation can have them do a lot of something excessively. That leads to burnout. Or the opposite you connect so much that you feel like there's days you don't replenish and you get burned out.

Nikisha: 15:29

There are days I can go hard at connecting, but I know there's a rest period for me, so I built it into my system where I literally can just be in my room reading, watching TV or relaxing. But I have to build it into my system because I connect a lot but I love it, so I wouldn't give it up for anything. But since I love it, I find ways to build in my rest moments, the moments where I can have those quiet times. So that's why people have labels introvert, extrovert. I'm just a beautiful human being who is curious and when my curiosities peaked I built in a rest moment. That is all that I am doing, but I don't have any labels and I wanted to share that with you.

Nikisha: 16:11

So in ending the connection series, I hope that you understand that being present, being curious and Just being you is all that matters. And being you, you could find ways to exit a conversation, to love conversations, to figure out if someone's not showing that interest in you, how to open up dialogue without an argument, without a fight. And I hope you have received some aha moments, some tips and tricks and ideas that you can apply to your beautiful life. And please know, one bit at a time is all you need. Being curious is the best tip I can give when speaking to someone. If you're just thinking, I'm curious to know what's happening in your life or where's this going, or just that, your interest will be peaked and you will be connecting, and that's all I want you to walk away from the Connection series with. Now.

Nikisha: 17:13

Burnout series is gonna be so much fun because people are going to share with you what has happened in their journey. What has it created that moment when they burned out, what decision they had to make, and then where did they go from there? And it's a powerful series because, listen, burnout is not a joke, it's real, it's serious and I want you to know that, if you've experienced it, if you're in it, there is a way out. And I want you to know that it doesn't happen, with you knowing it's happening. When you're actually in the hospital and your bed can't move, feeling depressed, overwhelmed. That's when you notice it.

Nikisha: 18:01

But the process of being in it you don't really notice it until you're physically drained, mentally drained. So, before you get there, let's have this conversation so we could tell the signs. And then, when we are there, what's the next way of doing things? How can we shift? So thank you so much for joining me in the Connection series and now we're heading into Burnout series. Now we're gonna talk about overdoing it. So thank you so much for your time. Have an amazing week and I'll see you next Tuesday.

Nikisha: 18:42

Thanks for spending time with me today and if you received an aha moment in today's episode, hit the follow button and share a review. But more importantly, if you have a friend who will truly benefit from today's episode, click the three dots and share this link via text. You never know how this small action can help someone tremendously. See you next Tuesday and have an amazing day.